


Void Cap Co.

by zaraegis



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Fake Marriage, Gen, Horrorterrors - Freeform, Multi, Slapstick, Team as Family, flirting heavily between all of them, lackadaisical attitudes towards morality, villainous typical violencehorror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 08:29:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14351739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaraegis/pseuds/zaraegis
Summary: Hey I woke up and all I could write was three assholes trying to ignore the fact that they all are actually really fond of each other.





	1. Villain Con

**Author's Note:**

> see if you can spot the reference in the con haha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio go to a villain con, to mingle and advertise and learn how to liquefy someone's insides with a punch. As always, there's those that try to schmooze.

 Flug had been admiring some very nice ray guns at a booth, well aware of the capricious nature of his boss who could only take so much “blather” before he nearly dragged Flug to the next booth.

Dementia had it arguably worse, as they were currently in the mad scientist section and she was chomping at the bit to go to the wholesale demolition section.

Only the threat of being grounded kept her at their heels, and out of altercations with other villains at the convention. Flug had seen Black Hat actually ground someone and if the sheer tonnage didn’t immediately kill you, the eventual suffocating under 40 feet of dirt will.

But while he was about to inquire about how they had condensed a quantum tunnel so very efficiently, he caught snatches of a sneering voice, and- what made him turn on his heel, was Demencia’s suddenly hesitant snarl.

It was a tall sharp lady, in a pristine white labcoat and waves of dark shiny hair decorated with probably pure gold beads and charms. An up and coming mad scientist who specialized in mental alterations, if Flug remembered correctly. Dr. Bellucosa.

She was a beauty, he would admit, but his eyes narrowed at the sharp lipsticked sneer. The words “Hot topic reject” filtered through the surrounding rush of conversations. Flug knew what it was about now. He excused himself nearly absentmindedly from his conversation to make his way closer to where Demencia was about to smear the scientist on the ground.

He always got a good laugh out of those.

Demencia had crouched, readying for her infamous flying tackles, when their boss showed up and narrowed his eyes at her. There was no leash necessary when Black Hat’s dissapointment and rage kept a tighter control over them than fine tooled leather. Demencia stood her ground and gritted her teeth, growling near subvocally.

“Ah! The infamous Black Hat! It is an honor to meet you!” She simpered. Black Hat kept his disgusted sneer even as he near growled out a “charmed” that managed to sound more like an old bloody oath on her descendants AND ancestors.

He was glaring at them both, Flug now shoulder to shoulder with Demencia in a pointed show of support.

Bellucosa laughed, a bright airy thing that had Black Hat twitching. It was fascinating to see someone trying to charm him and not even receiving a reaction like Demencia usually elicited.

To Bellucosa’s credit, her smile didn’t slip one perfect tooth. Her eyes swept to him and she had a horrifying  _something_  sharpen her gaze when she spotted him.

“Then this must be Dr. Flug” there was no other who wore a bag on their head, Flug thought uncharitably, loosening his shoulders and hunching forward at the mention.

“Ah- oh , I mean- yes. Yes I am! It’s a pleasure Dr. Bellucosa. I’ve loved your work on last year’s Valentine’s Day. Very inspiring stuff.”

She covered her mouth with one perfectly formed hand, feigning humbleness. “Why, you  _are_  a flatterer doctor. But you aren’t someone I’d like to cross either!”

Flug never said he wanted to steer clear of her. She wasn’t all that. He rubbed his neck and averted his eyes, only to see the same disgusted judging face on Demencia and Black Hat.

“Aw shucks ma'am.” He was maybe laying it on a bit thick, but pointless chatter got to him quicker than a sharp scalpel. He was already feeling sweaty and twitchy.

Bellucosa’s eyes never once strayed to an uncharacteristically quiet Demencia. Flug was as ever, thankful his bag hid his grimace.

“I’ve had enough of the drudgery of listening to this blithering drivel” Black Hat growled, looming over his subordinates, claws gripping their upper arms. “We’re going  _now_.”

“I’ll see you at the Psychology and Death Machines panel?” Flug tried to ask over his shoulder at the lazily smiling brunette. She waved back in a perfectly dainty way in affirmation, the soft glint of gold in her hair the last thing he saw before the crowed closed up behind him.

That was about the time Demencia squirmed out of Black Hat’s grip and grabbed his other arm and they all but lifted him over to where someone was demonstrating how to make a person’s spleen liquify with a single punch.

Demencia made a hacking sound that was akin to a box of heat ridden cats being kicked down several flights of stairs. Black Hat echoed the sentiment.

“I never wanna hear you nerd flirting again Fluggy.”

“Seconded. It’s now  **forbidden**.”

Flug rolled his eyes, not even bothing with walking anymore. He lifted both his feet and they didn’t even bat an eyelash, these inhumanly strong freaks of nature.

“That wasn’t me flirting. You both would  _know_  if I was flirting.”

“The disgusting taste at the back of my throat says otherwise.” Black Hat muttered. At that Flug resigned himself to being dragged from booth to booth as Demencia regained some spirit at some gruesome exhibitions and Black Hat sneered and chuckled worryingly enough to drive a couple of people near them into crying blood into their complimentary tote bag.

Flug was used to it enough that it just buzzed at the back of his head for a little while. Demencia never even noticed it.

They did enjoy the rest of the time there, all three splitting up to cover as many panels as they wanted, near reluctantly as Black Hat watched him go with narrow eyes and a snarl curling up his lips. Demencia was no better, snagging his sleeve on reflex when he twisted out of their grasps. Like he was going to immedietly find the nearest person in a lab coat and start chatting them up.

“Have a little faith,” Flug huffed out, ignoring when the other two snorted in unison.

-

They picked up a bit of lunch after the panel, a tiny neat little bistro that Flug would never go in by himself. The conversation never once strayed to his employment, suspciously so, but it was hardly the first time someone tried to glean information about Black Hat from him.

He was an old hand at this by now.

She was masterful at her craft though, he had to give her that. Simple teasing compliments that would have tripped him up if he weren’t employed under Black Hat for years now. A razor thin edge to them that made him latch on to it and wonder if she meant it in a nice way, or in a patronizing way. Each barb easily slid into conversation, tone , even  _posture_  goodness gracious.

An overthinker like Flug would be hanging onto her every word all the meanwhile strangling his self confidence to death. She wasn’t nearly as subtle with Demencia he noted, wondering at the change in tactics.

“I don’t know how you do it Doctor Flug,” She was sighing, sipping at her tiny cup of Turkish coffee, a perfect portrait of weary genius slash Victorian-era maiden. Something in her hair chimed gently with the sway of her head, he was beginning to think it was Pavlovian in nature.

“You create so many wonderful experiments in a week and still have time for such recreational activities. You deserve a boyfriend who could keep up and take care of things to make it easier for you!” She leaned in conspiratorially, he did the same, indulgent to her manipulations. “I know several lovely villains who’d be perfect for you!”

There it was. Interesting. She did earn her degree in Psychology after all.

“Oh no, I’m afraid my wife wouldn’t like that.”

The gentle chime cut off discordantly. Her face smoothed out, almost Black Hat-esque in the inhumane rippling of facial muscles.

Flug idly wondered if he could hear a record scratch in the sudden silence.

“A…wife?” Her smooth voice tripped up and now something in Flug perked up. She would probably scream entertainingly, he mused, fiddling with his shirt collar before pulling up the diamond titanium chain hidden under his shirt.

There was a gold ring attached to it, simple and classy, with two gems embedded into it’s surface. A ruby and an emerald.

“Yes, my wife. You called her ah- what was the word- a  _hot topic reject_  I believe.”

His voice didn’t change, not really, but suddenly the fiddling at his collar wasn’t as benign as she thought it was. Abruptly, she set down her cup, unheeding of the quite crack of breaking porcelain.

She couldn’t feel her toes. She couldn’t feel her  _legs_.

“Ah” Flug murmured, swirling his straw and staring idly at her, “There it is.”

“Wha-” Her jaw locked up, sour bile filling her mouth in it’s place. No one glanced their way, and Flug kept on staring impassively at her, uncaring of her quiet whimpers and aborted struggles.

A room full of villains, and no one noticed him seal her unconscious form into a small sphere. He shook his head, what was the villain standard falling to nowadays?

-

The drive back was peaceful, in as much as it could be with Black Hat making a deal - and some very unsubtle psychological damage- in the backseat of the limo while Flug and Dementia tried to drown out the snarls with Today’s 100 Pop Hits on the radio.

Demencia was still quiet, picking at her ankle cuff with a decidedly dejected air.

“She was a shitty piece of garbage, you know that right?” Flug mentioned offhand. It got her to smile at his swearing at least, so there was that.

People were- ugh- complicated, and Flug found himself sympathizing with Black Hat much more than he’d like about human foibles.

Demencia was still, very very much human in that respect. Too much sometimes, impulsive and base instincts and all. Her pouting was more about the missed opportunity for some bloody violence and mayhem than about her clothes by this point.

“Besides, I got a gift for you, consider it our anniversary present.”

She stuck her tongue out at him, “You always remember dates, you’re the worst nerd husband ever, you know that right?”

“You broke my hip on our honeymoon.” He retorts back, for the hundreth time. “You can’t be trusted with a silver tray- much less the date.”

It was true. After they came up with the brilliant and evil plan to get hitched for tax reasons and to avoid the gaggle of Black Hat suckups that single henchmen tended to attract, they had their highly ironic wedding reception at a fast food joint.

Afterwards, during their “honeymoon” Demencia tried to give him a hand while building an atom collider for a project and it ended up with the marble bust of Black Hat catching fire and Flug having his hip broken with the silver tray he didn’t even know was in his lab.

Demencia has been banned from helping him on pain of Black Hat practicing his newfound first aid skills on her without having to wait for something as plebian as open wounds.

Flug is just happy he didn’t have to use a wheelchair for weeks, even if he couldn’t look his Boss in the eye for weeks afterwards.

“So what did you get me? Tell me! Tell me now or I’ll tickle you!”

“You do that and I drive us off this bridge right now.”

“Psh. You’re the only one that’ll die.’

"I know, the sweet release of death can be your anniversary gift to me.”

Demencia giggled, the pitch creating a buzz in his hindbrain not unlike Black Hat’s horrible coughs.

“Till death do us part dear husband.”

“Death can’t come soon enough darling wife.”

They both smiled sickly at the other, willing the other to back down first. They’re too busy to notice the snarls from the backseat have died down a while ago and a heavy silence eminates from their employer.

Black Hat turns his wide gaze from his ridiculous subordinates, wondering how he could have missed  _this_.

-

“BLACK HAT” Demencia screeched as she kicked his door hard enough that it stayed embedded in the wall. He could feel his eyelid twitching already.

“ **WHAT.** ”

She jumps on his desk and near shoves the object she’s holding up his nonexistent nose.

“FLUG PRESENTS.”

It’s a bracelet. There are five pearly human teeth knotted on a dark metal braid of some kind that doesn’t even strain as he yanks it from Demencia’s grasp.

The teeth are half dipped in gold and he can see a small hinge that pops open when he digs a claw into it.

Inside is a small round vial. Very small.

“What is  _this_?” He growls, squinting at the tiny vial.

“It’s a potent poison. for all occassions really. I just finished my field test on it.” Flug comments meekly from the doorway, panting presumably from keeping up with his -urg  _wife_.

Black Hat sneers, shaking the bracelet at both idiots.

“Not that! This!”

“It’s Friendship Bracelets!” Demencia near squeals, showing off hers hidden up her left glove.

“They’re for subterfuge,” Flug talks over her, or tries to at any rate, showing off his own under his rubber gloves “For when you need to kill without getting your fancy suit dirty.”

Black Hat’s lip curls at the word friendship, he tosses it on his desk in disgust.

“Dr. Flug, do I look like the kind of villain who wears  _friendship_  anything?”

The scientist shrugs, reaching for the bracelet on his desk. “That’s fine sir, I just wanted to see if you’d like to put these into production.”

The bracelet dissappears before he can even touch it and his boss secrets it away into his person, “NO. This one is mine.  _ **MINE**_.”

Flug sighs even as Demencia giggles something fierce besides him. 

“Yes Sir.”


	2. Stress Testing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once in a blue moon some of Flug's inventions require a collaboration between the liquid lizard and the mad scientist. It usually escalates but as long as the Boss doesn't join in all fires are usually minor.

There had always been a healthy level of loathing towards group projects in high school. Even later on in college, where everyone was an adult. Or supposed to be an any rate.

But depending on an unknown variable, someone he can’t control to complete a project of his to his standards? Like pulling teeth, only Flug has a good chunk of experience with big pliers and molars so perhaps not the best metaphor.

However, even all that residual hatred for group projects can’t rightly drown out the excitement when he realizes that his latest laser grid needs a bit of …cooperative testing to complete it.

He could go out and steal one the of the more agile heroes, but why bother with the deadweight and the threats and the  _whining_  when he’s got a perfectly good freakishly strong and agile henchwoman right here?

“Oooh!! We get to  _play_  together this time Flug-bug?” Demencia trills as she’s coming up behind him. Under his bag he grins wicked and sharp.

“Yes, I need the rudimentery AI to learn how to well- learn,” Already she was trying to take out the hair tie holding her ponytail up, growling as it refused to abandon it’s post.

Flug made to go help her, but it gave up the ghost with a sharp snap. He leaned back and sighed as her hair went every which way. As a scientist it defied explanation and every time he felt like studying the strands for shrinking and growing properties.

At other times he remembers his own brief foray into her hair and subsequent oath to never again. She was perhaps, picking up a bit more mind bending traits, spending large amounts of time around their Eldritch boss.

But they got her hair knotted into a thick heavy braid that she ‘accidentally’ hit him in the guts with. It knocked the breath out of him and he reminded himself to 'accidentally’ leave a cherry bomb in it later on as payback.

She jumped from foot to foot, braid whipping behind her like a tail, “Alright! I’m ready. Hit me with your best shot nerd!”

A couple taps at the keyboard and a small red beam appeared between the walls, at about ankle height. Demencia drooped and the smile slid off her face as she gave him the most unimpressed stare she could muster. Still looking at him she lifted one foot and made to step over the laser, which is how she almost lost her toes.

The ray had sensed movement and flared upwards in retaliation.

“Whoa!” Demencia waved her hands to keep her balance as she flinched back to prevent toe loss. Flug smiled.

“Level One, test.” He said aloud for Cam-bot, who was recording the testing for later examination, “Start.”

-

Black Hat was reading the paper in the kitchen, steadfastly ignoring the shouts and excited screams drifting from Flug’s Lab. Less harder to ignore was an ominous silence before an eerie chuckle started rising in volume ending in a proper mad cackle that usually was  _his_  expertise.

That got his attention. The doctor,  _laughing_  and not stuttering or cowering? This had to be good.

A more familiar high pitched shriek of rage followed it and Black Hat swore his monocle threatened to break like common human glass. That girl’s lungs..!! He was going to rip them out one day and live quietly in peace for the rest of eternity-

Still grumbling, he discorporates inside the lab proper, ignoring the twenty locks and failsafes on the closed 10 foot thick lab door. Inside he pauses and grins widely at the scene before him.

Flug is calmly almost hopping back from a yelling Demencia, nearly frothing in rage and missing half a foot of hair. The hanks of lime green are in a sad little pile a ways away, ends still smoking. The only thing saving Flug from a messy demise is the fact that they’re still inside the testing space.

He does a smooth little turn and over Demencia’s snarls, says “Pattern wave, randomize. Level 237 please Grid-bot.”

The lasers that have been opening up as Flug moves around them and sharply closing in on Demencia freeze for the slightest bit, enough to have Demencia’s clawed fingers inch closer to Flug’s throat.

Then they start an aggressive counterattack and this time it’s the lizard girl who starts hopping back dancing around dangerously humming laser lights. Flug all but  _prowls_  forward, head cocked and occasionally making observations to the filming Cam-bot in a curious and detached voice.

Demencia is sweating now, which is a feat, considering her usual energy levels and stamina. There’s a bit where she has to twist her arm and legs in painful angles and her torso ends up torqued to the left to avoid a sizzling beam. She stumbles slightly, right ankle giving way for a moment.

That’s all the budding AI needs before she’s corralled completely, bunched in by red lasers on all sides, two resting gently above and below her neck, ready to decapitate at the slightest movement. Flug continues his stream of observations, detailing and smoothing out corrections with an absentmindedness that’s positively delicious in it’s disregard for Demencia’s uncomfortable position.

Watching them, the captive’s defiant grimace, the captor’s graceful superiority Black Hat salivates.  _Delicious_.

The Laser Grid Defense System 3000 is supposed to be an improvement on the previous one, where scores of mediocre villains trapped themselves in with their own defence system. The learning AI would keep their owners from being fried.

He doubts, however, that any of them will use it like the Doctor does, so confident and sure and utterly willing to trust his own inventions.

It’ll be the death of him one day and they all know it.

But for now…Black Hat grins wider and steps onto the defence grid. He’s satisfied at the trepidation he sees in both their faces.

“My turn.”

-

In the end, one of the walls is on fire and there are entirely too many sliced off appendages on the floor to be anything but gross. Flug is pretty sure their Boss taught the newborn AI a lot about multiple enemies, non-human flexibility and  **fear**. Fear of Black Hat in particular.

Any more testing and Flug’s sure it would refuse to so much as have Black Hat in it’s sights.

They’re in the kitchen now, Demencia still lightly on fire and giggling tiredly, having had a blast teaming up with their boss in order to corral Flug and his AI. Flug himself has a couple of rips and burns and is sure his legs are going to kill him in the morning for this unprecendented amount of exercise.

Black Hat…has a small rip somewhere along his shirt that’s now probably mended again. It was the one lucky hit due to his pause at a lewd joke Demencia did about his flexibility and Flug’s startled laugh. They lost the wall to that joke but it might have been worth it to see the comical expression of disgust on their boss’ face and not have to run screaming away immediately afterwards.

“Ugh, Flug I’m going to strangle you when I can feel my arms again.” Demencia mumbled face down on the counter. Flug kindly picked up her face and laid it on it’s side to prevent involuntary self suffocation.

He retrieves a couple of waters from the fridge, twisting off the cap and ignoring Demencia’s pitiful whines as he drank the whole thing in a couple of gulps, grateful for the fresh air cooling his sweating face. He brought the second one up and polished off that one in seconds as well, barely tasting the refreshingly cool liquid clearing away the metallic bitter thirst.

When he finally put the empty plastic bottle down, catching his breath and adjusting his paper bag back over his mouth, he catches the two at the table watching him quietly and intently.

All the small hairs at his nape raised immediately, arms breaking out in goosebumps. He regretted taking off his labcoat to contain the small bit of Greek fire his boss had spit at them.

Black Hat, his pupils thinner than he’d ever seen, finally turned away and snapped his fingers to retrieve a smoking cup of tea that Flug had once seen melt a hole in his reinforced lab tables.

The 'no-eating’ in the lab rule was more to protect Flug’s tables than anything really.

Demencia though, just half lidded her eyes and opened her mouth pointedly. He sighed and reminded himself that Grid-bot  _did_  slice off a good chunk of hair. He opened another bottle and stuck it in her maw, narrowly losing a pinkie.

If she drowned herself, 505 knew CPR.

They stayed there, quiet and almost drowsing. The only sound was the rustle of the paper and Black Hat’s disgusted mumbles.

When 505 bustled in and made them tiny cucumber sandwiches did they stir but only to gobble them up and go back to slumping on the table and nearly napping. There were literal fires to clean up, and other endless tasks but even the oppressive air that followed Black Hat around felt comforting and warm at that moment.

A soft rasping caught Flug’s attention and he blinked open heavy eyes to see Demencia ruffling the cauterized tips of her braid.

He moved up slightly, ribs creaking and feeling stiffness already creeping into every body part he was aware of. Ugh, why would people exercise? It just brought home how close everyone was to dying and arthritis and  _ovaltine_.

“You’re fine, leave it be.” he mutters, giving up on moving and just slumps back down. He gets a flick of a toothpick thrown at his face in response, real mature.

“I can feel it  _missing_.” She pouted.

“ You can’t.”

“Can so.”

“You  _can’t_.”

“ _CAN S-_ ”

The pointed rustle of a newspaper being lowered quieted them down once more until it was lifted up again. Flug sighed and rolled to face Demencia.

“I can trim it for you so it grows back properly.” He offered.

She perked up. “I’ve seen you cut your hair Fluggy, are you a hairdresser now too nerd?”

“No but I’ve sheared a sheep, you shouldn’t be much different.”

As they continued to bicker, Black Hat smothered his smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It went from vaguely Glados-like Flug to lazying around on a warm evening???


End file.
